FUCK A SOUNDMAN

The other night I had a show at Club 6 in San Francisco. It was the final show of a crew I'm in, StrangeFace. It was disorganized, there were 8-9 emcees on stage (maybe more), everyone was gurped the fuck out. We were headlining. We went on late. Folks were forgetting their lyrics. But none of that matters, because when you are playing a show, and all of that and more goes wrong, the show should still sound good to the crowd. The soundman should make it sound loud, and crisp, and give it his best mix. It's Hip Hop for Cristsake, not rock, not 7 instruments, with 7 different mixes. It's three mics and a couple turntables, and a cdj (now). I only got to rap twice (due to a miscommunication). I start my verse, the entire soundsystem turns into the volume of a clock radio. WTF? It threw me for a loop. I finish my verse early, walk over to the soundman, he gives me a bunch of gibberish, won't even talk to me, tells me he's got to concentrate on the stage. I've been rapping for 20 years, I've worked at a concert venue for 5. I've played more shows than I can count. I'm older than him. I should slap him. But I don't. I say thanks, and I head back onstage. 20 minutes go by, I get to rap again. 10 seconds into my verse, the same shit happens. I finsih my verse, then spike the mic hard (I threw it into the stage). Motherfucker. If my friend Karim didn't grab me and give me a ride home, I would have knocked the soundmans teeth out. It's two weeks later, and I'm sitting in a hotel room right now in Westminster Maryland. I just got finished doing this Performative Lecture on Diversity I do with my friend Mohammed. (It's called the Color Orange, google it for info). We arrived at soundcheck with an Ipod. Nothing more. The soundman recieved a technical rider weeks ago. It says we need two mics and ONE CORD FROM THE IPOD. Very simple. 8th inch to quarter inch. We show up, he greets us, we tell what we need, he says, "Don't have it". we are supposed to perform in 15 minutes. It is 7:45 pm. The soundman walks by me, and then I smell something. Booze. He's drunk. He is not friendly, and he is not trying to help. 1,500 kids are waiting. This school is paying us a whole lotta dough. Luckily a student went home, and found a cord. I don't even want to get into how the actual sound was, this soundman left, and a student with no experience tried his hand at sound. Feedback. Muffled mics. Bad levels. MOTHERFUCKER. FUCK A SOUNDMAN.

BOAC